第三篇的案例是一个有关验货／付款的拉锯战，相当典型。故事很长，我把它拆散吧。
我直接引用一下同学写的背景。老规矩，删去敏感数据。
TCJ款式为我们其中之一个款式，此款因为中间沟通的问题，导致标准模糊，最终造成大货部分货品外观/尺寸不是很好。客户是中间商，却以最终客户投诉为由要求扣除我司总货款的20%。在我司同意的情况下，剩余的货款仍然拖至6月未付。此时我司还有客户最后一票货物TCS。TCS第一次尾查并没有通过，于是我们就安排了最终客户指定的第三方验货（简称Q吧），在拿到通过的验货报告后，要求中间商客户付清前一笔的货款。
以下是同学发的文件，我连拼错字也原汁原味转来。Spell check大家必须做：
Dear ALL,
TCS already passed the final inspection issued by Q. So from our side, （这句很中式，你可能想说「我们这边认为。。」。建议改为From our point of view, 霸气点可以「In my view」。将View变做动词能就更霸。。。不过，你在做生意，不是在做戏。。不用太霸气的。。）we don't think it's neccessary for tomorrow's re-inspection. （整句还是不错，因为你把自己的看法直接和清析地表达出来了。）
But pls clearly to be noted, （这句也是常错的。首先，小小文法。But永远不用来开句的。真要表达，那就用However来开句。另外是句式太复杂。pls be clearly noted that….会好一点。但也只是好一点点而已。。。）indicated by our company's policy we must receive at least 50% payment for TCJ no later than Monday, （此处该有连接词吧？有点odd）no shippment will be allowed to arrange for TCS before we received any serious offical （official就够了。你可能是见过有人用serious在类似的场合，但这里不对。）payment confirmation.
I am sorry for this, but I need to follow company's policy. And pls let me know your action ASAP.
Thanks & Best regards
Ms. D (同学的简称吧）
Ben叔叔是这样改的：
Hi all, (我知，你们教科书都是DEAR。跟一个老头DEAR，渣男屌丝又DEAR，你没觉得不对劲吗？）
Following the positive inspection result from Q, I don’t see the needs of the re-inspection. Quality should be well accepted according to our defined process. （多用Process. 在品管领域，Process是圣旨。既有process而不跟，死罪）
As a separate issue, (这的确该是两码不同的事）may I remind you that we must receive 50% of the payment before we can proceed your shipment? I am not able to release anything without a solid proof（solid这个字很好用）. Please help me to help you an on time delivery.（这句不得了。。。就是说：哥，我已尽力了，你得自己争气啊。。。）
I am sorry, but a rule is a rule (这一句可以不要，就看你跟客户的关系了）. Thanks for your understand.
Regards,
Ben
接下去是客户三个不同部门的人在围攻同学Ms. D:
Hi Dora,
We had already advised that there was no need to arrange Q inspection but let our QC Janny to do the re-final inspection. Please confirm that you had already sorted out all the problems as what our QC Janny found on her final inspection. Her previous final inspection was rejected with a lot of issues. Please reply.
Regard，
A
第二个：
Hi Carmen, Janny needs to do this reinspection and eyeball （eyeball这个字很常见也很有现场感，值得大家学习）the whole stock.
Regards,
B
第三个：
I agree with B。
We need to ensure the workmanship issues have truly been addressed. （这句很典型的跟屁虫废话, 500强常见。）
Regards，
C
太长了，整个故事。今次就先到此为止。
