请各位朋友帮帮忙,看这简介写得有没有问题?谢谢!

Lcp2005
各位朋友前辈们,小女子英文不怎么好,麻烦大家帮忙看看下面的公司简介写法正确吗?有没有哪些地方语法不正确的呢?请帮忙指出,不胜感激。。 About us: Recorder Technology found in 2010 in Shenzhen.It is a special company in researching ,developing and selling Security Electronics products. Our company mainly produce Hard disk recorders, surveillance cameras, network video cameras products. The company he passed ISO9001:2000 quality management system.All our products he FCC,CE,Rohs certificates. The company adheres to the "strives for the survival by the quality, seek development by quality, reputation for market, to management for efficiency" purposes, set up "the unity, the scientific innovation" spirit of enterprise, establish a "people-oriented, reconciliation" values, to create first-class enterprise, producing quality products. Our products deeply trust and support of the general customers . Company products are widely used in airports, Banks, hotels, ports, highways, large supermarkets, factories, modern building and so on. We always adhere to the customer as the center, your request, our standard; Your satisfaction, our pursuit. Companies with high quality products, good reputation, high quality service, products he been sold well all over the country provinces, municipalities, autonomous regions and exported to Europe, America, southeast Asia, Africa and other countries. The company wholeheartedly welcome customers at home and abroad hand in hand, mutual benefit and win-win, create brilliance! Welcome OEM.
2014-01-07 1128阅读
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AI回答:
有一些需要修改的地方:

1. 第一句话中应该用"was",而非“found”
2. 第二句话有语法问题,建议使用“It is a company specialized in researching, developing, and selling security electronics products.”
3. 第三句话中,“he”是不需要的,应该是"Our company mainly produces.."
4. 第四句话,应该是"The company has passed the ISO9001:2000 quality management system and all of our products have FCC, CE, and RoHS certificates."
5. 第五句话的“he”也是多余的,应该是"The company adheres to the purpose of “striving for survival by quality, seeking development by quality, earning reputation for the market, and managing for efficiency". We have established a spirit of enterprise centered on unity and scientific innovation, and established a value system centered on people-oriented and reconciliation, with the aim of creating a first-class enterprise and producing quality products."
6. 第六句话的“trust”应该改为“trustworthy”,应该是"Our products are trustworthy and have gained the support of many loyal customers."
7. 第七句话中,“he been”应该改为“have been”。
8. 最后一句话中,“hand in hand”可以去掉,应该是"The company welcomes both domestic and international customers, and hopes to achieve mutual benefit and win-win cooperation while creating brilliant achievements. OEM is also welcome."
2023-06-23
追问:
  • Edmond
    这是楼主公司网站的英文简介,不是发信。
    2014-01-10
  • sunny.jordan
    写的太长,很多老外顾不得细看就DEL了
    建议楼主简化一点,说几个重点,比方说产品,认证,规模就可以了
    2014-01-09
  • 袁佳明
    建议搜索一家同行业的国外公司,抄袭篡改下人家的简介
    2014-01-09
  • Chong.Li
    写得有点中文式英语, 你可以多多浏览外国公司的简介,参照他们的一些用词。
    2014-01-09
  • Edmond
    建议去外贸英语版块,
    建议把中文简介贴出来
    2014-01-08
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