关于给客户的佣金，这样提是否得当？

dear xxxx, good afternoon. hope our revised offer has been received and gone through. indeed we want to establish business with you, may be just part of them. any further things we can do, pls let me know. we are always here for the service. furthermore, may you pls advise when you are ailable for phone answering? then i can make a call to speak with you directly on some issues. your prompt response will be highly appreciated. 这样写，会不会有嫌疑?毕竟在有些公司里，员工的邮箱是要受高层监督的。但是对于这个比较大的订单，我们公司有点不淡定了，这会是在冒风险么? ps.客户是印度的直接用户。